“It Was Next to Stairs But Was Not Trash!!!”

One lost stroller in Queens, four flights of stairs, and why the baby carrier should be the default in New York.

Whoever made this sign, I hope you got your stroller back.

Someone on a block near Bianca’s, in Astoria, left their stroller next to the stairs, and when they came back, it was gone. They did not handle it quietly! And why would they? They made two signs, and you see, Bianca has a thing about hand lettering and typography, so she stops for this stuff - she’s compelled to stop, whether she wants to or not.

The second was a full sheet of hot pink poster board with a big white cloud shape for the lettering; the hot pink filling in around it really calls your attention. Which means someone went out, bought poster board, lettered the whole thing, then went back and filled in the hot pink around it. That’s a lot of steps for a missing stroller. “PLEASE BRING BACK STROLLER. It was next to stairs but was NOT TRASH!!!” Then a phone number. Then, squeezed into the bottom corner where they ran out of room, getting smaller as it went: MY SON’S DON’T HAVE A STROLLER NOW!”

Looking at the two signs, I can feel the urgency, the near desperation, and have empathy. Like Bianca, I hope they got the stroller back.

Nobody leaves a stroller out here…

I don't know what happened, and neither does Bianca, but nobody in this city parks a stroller outside overnight - on purpose. Our best guess is they got to the building door, and she went up with the kids and the groceries, came back down to get her stroller, and it was gone. However long it was, it was a few minutes, not a night.

Every walk-up parent understands this instantly! You can’t get the kids, the stroller, the bags, and the groceries up three (or four) flights in one trip. Something has to wait downstairs while you bring the rest up. And you can't park the stroller in the hallway either, because that's a fire code violation and your Super has already had that conversation with you. So it comes all the way up every time, and there are always two trips. And on that first trip up, something is sitting by itself, by the stairs to the doorway.

Usually that's fine. No one is gonna take a stroller… obviously someone needs it! Then one Tuesday that isn’t true anymore.

The stroller is a pain in the neck roughly four times a day

Not to speak ill of strollers. Strollers are great.
Strollers are also:

• Folded one-handed on a crowded bus, baby on the hip, stuff hanging off the arms, while the driver waits and eleven people watch.
• Carried up the subway stairs, because it's always the station with no elevator, or the elevator that's been out since spring and smells like a gas station bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned in years.
• Parked up front at the bodega under a handwritten sign, with your bag in one hand and your kid on your hip and your stroller thirty feet away holding everything you couldn’t carry around the store.
• Stuck in a grocery aisle built for exactly one cart, backing up, always you backing up. Always.
• Rained on. Don’t be fooled by plastic covers - they’re toxic and don’t keep the stroller or your kid dry anyway.

Here is where the baby carrier should be the default

Most people already have a carrier. It came in a shower gift, or they bought one before the baby came, tried it twice in the living room, found it confusing or hot, or it hurt their back, and they put it in the closet. Then they use the stroller for everything, and the carrier just sits there forgotten.

So this isn't us telling you to go get a baby carrier. You have one. It's about whether it's the thing you reach for.

And in this city, we both think it should be. Maybe in other places, the stroller is obviously the default and the carrier is the specialty item, the thing for hikes and airports. Here that's backwards. Stairs at most stations. Buses where you have to fold. Store aisles laid out in 1962. Four flights up with groceries. The carrier is what gets you out the door on a normal Tuesday with no planning at all.

The stroller is the one you bring when you've thought the trip through and decided you want somewhere to put the bags. That's a real reason and a good one. But it's a planned choice, not the baseline.

Two things that make a baby carrier actually work

The carrier has to be with you, not in the closet at home. Pick one you don't mind getting crumpled, rained on, splashed on, or spilled on, and let it live in the stroller basket or your bag. Ring sling, woven wrap, meh dai, soft structured carrier, whatever you'll actually reach for when you're annoyed and in a hurry.

And you have to have practiced it somewhere that isn't the subway platform with a screaming baby and a curious toddler. If it was uncomfortable the two times you tried it, that's usually the learning curve and fit, not the carrier, and it's fixable in one session with someone who knows what they're looking at. If you have two kids, work out ahead of time which one goes up, because it's usually not the one you'd guess.

•••

Anyway