Keep engaging? Or walk away? Help at the market

I'm here at the Palafox Saturday Market in Pensacola, Florida, one of my treasured places. In the mix of people standing at one of my favorite stalls, where the seller is a master at sharing the story of each stone, piece of jewelry, or your aura, compelling you to buy the item you're drawn to, there is a young couple with their baby.

I've casually known this seller for many years, and she was expressing her condolences on the passing of my mom, who she also knew. Then she saw this young couple, who was carrying their baby in a common carrier, pick up a stone I had put down only a few moments before. She stops mid-sentence and, with impressive showmanship, tells this young couple the story of the stone, weaving bits of my mother into her narrative. She then tells them they are doubly blessed, as I am there and can help them with their baby, who is clearly struggling. She says something to the tune of,

"She eases those who are in discomfort with their connection to their infant."

I do what?! Yes, I nearly passed out right there.

Luckily, the couple also saw my shock. I nervously laughed, said I sadly couldn't fix the weather, and apologized for said failure.

But the kicker is this: this parent was in discomfort, and their baby struggled with breathing. It was slumped to its side, the arm and shoulder trapped under the breast of the parent, and was covered with the sleeping hood so that the parent wouldn't be able to see the baby.

What would you do at this moment?

They didn't ask for my input; they didn't ask for my help. I know babies are way more resilient than we often think - so what am I to do?

Also, I didn't think this couple had an issue with their connection to their infant… I mean, they were lovingly carrying this baby with them.

After I made the feeble joke about being unable to fix the weather, they laughed a little (out of politeness - let's be honest) and said they were sorry to hear about my mother's passing. Which I thanked them for, of course. Now our seller is still there and involved, and she says to them,

"She can help you with the baby, just ask her for help."

I politely say to the couple, "It looks like you have everything well in control and that you're enjoying your morning. Congratulations on the newest member of your family. Now, I need to move on and find my kids, but I wish you all the best." (I'm ready to walk away because it's so awkward!)

The parent removes the sleeping hood and says, "This is Sandra."

I stop, turn, and look. Little Sandra is beautiful. I was shocked and felt like an icepick hit my heart.

"My mom's name was Sandra." (What are the odds?). "When was she born?"

"3 months ago," they said. (My mom had passed away just three months prior.)

I am standing there looking at this couple and their baby with my mouth wide open. I can't even respond. The seller piped up and filled them in, which, of course, wowed them as well—the sheer random oddness of the circumstance. Luckily, we all had a collective 'this is weird' moment and felt oddly connected.

The parent looks down at baby Sandra and sees she is slumped a bit and says….hold on for it!!!!

She says, "Oh, I don't know why she always slumps like this, it doesn't look comfortable, and I don't even know how it happens."

Without thinking, I reply, "I do. I can help you fix it if you want."

Boom. Less than 10 minutes later, little Sandra and her parents are happily walking away. I felt content, helpful, and also a tad sad. Sad, I can't share this with my mom. (They have my number if needed, but I don't think they'll need it.)

I like to consider the 'silver linings' of things - the unintended positive consequences of something. Later that day, we held my mom's memorial, and this small, seemingly innocuous moment of the day made me feel so connected to my mom and this family. So simple. I am so grateful.

Because I was only one awkward moment from walking away and assuming this couple didn't need help: ask yourself,

"What would I have done at that moment?" 

 Pictures of the Palafox Saturday Market in Pensacola, Florida.

Image credits: VisitPensacola.com